Children are by nature either calm or aggressive. The aggressive children who have achieved the age of understanding are difficult to handle and are often a source of embarrassment to the parents. The age at which the child begins to express aggressive behaviour is when the child is two to three years of age.
Causes behind the child’s aggressive behaviour may be the domestic atmosphere to which he or she is exposed, or due to lack of security prevailing in his mind. The insecurity may develop as a result of slower learning process and consequent punishment from teacher, humiliation by fellow students and treatment from parents. These children do not understand their own strength, but are aware of their weaknesses.
The first and foremost requirement from the parents of aggressive children is that they should be calm while dealing with them, and try to pay maximum attention to them. This will help improve the child. A simple example can be, when the child is back from school ask him about his day. If he tells you about some difficulties, patiently listen to them and try to sort out as far as possible. If need be talk to teacher. If you observe that the child is having some difficulty in doing his work, be ready to help at the first opportunity. Do not wait till the child starts shouting out of frustration, and then you angrily tell him to go to his room. This way the problem will be aggravated.
The following should be kept in mind while dealing with aggressive children:
Never let the point of aggression arrive. Parents can easily judge at what point or on happening of which event the child flares up. If you observe that the child is moving in that direction control at the first instance, explain to the child about what could be consequences of this. Slowly the child will develop the habit of keeping cool. It is always good to avoid physical punishment till it is very necessary. Punishment makes the child stubborn and he will disobey you thinking that at the most he will be punished again and one day will lose fear of punishment. Instead of punishment try time out method to teach the child.
Be a role model for your children. Child learns maximum from parents. If the parents fight in the presence of the children or misbehave with each other, the child is bound to learn this. It is said that child learns bad things faster as compared to good things. Policy of rewarding the child for his good deeds will be of great help. Reward along with explaining the situation will be of help.
If the child does not come to terms any way, take him to an expert counselor at the earliest without wasting time.