Foster parents are those who are not biological parents, but have taken responsibility of parenting the child. Foster parents are mostly those who have own children and decide to take in other children who need guidance and help. This is a noble task, and these parents need to learn a lot before providing guidance. The foster parents report feeling of satisfaction with this work. Here we try to explain certain ideas and some of the do’s and don’ts that the foster parents should keep in mind before taking up parenting.
Understand kids’ psychology to win their trust: It should be clearly understood that the foster children have suffered a heavy loss in their lives having lost their homes, schools and even parents, so they will not be very happy to accept you. Do remember not to force yourself on them. They are an angry lot because of the circumstances they are placed in. They are not angry at you so understanding will bring them closer to you. This is a time consuming process and will require lot of patience and cool. A foster child may put you to tests to find if you are patient and accept him. A foster child may be under impression that you are there for profit motive. Explain to him that you intend to help and not earn from state remuneration.
Make them more socialize: To make these children mix up, encourage them to demonstrate their culture, heritage, food habits and clothing and way to dress. This way you will be encouraging the child to mix up with you to develop meaningful relationship.
Be patient: This is one of the main characteristic of a foster parent. After dislocation from his home, on being placed at another home, the child suffers both mental and cultural shock. At this stage it is not good to force the child to accept your will. He may not like the food being served, or food timings may differ. This should not be made an issue. Try resolving amicably.
With natural child at home: The problem of foster child may aggravate if there is another natural child at home. It is natural that the biological child will get more attention. In this case the foster child should be equally looked after and assured that he is as important as the other child. Another thing to be remembered is that foster child should not be compared to another foster child or biological child. In fact, if he has some strengths these should be praised, and he should be encouraged to go in for specialized learning in his area of interest.
Let the child take own time to settle in new place: Extent of attention to make him close to you also depends upon the time the child is to spend with you. Depending upon the information of time to be spent provided by placing agency, the foster child should be encouraged to mix up and adopt your way of life.