Bullying is a big problem in school these days. Generally when a child enters school, the older children or seniors indulge in bullying. They might push, kick or call names or otherwise threaten the new comer. The kid feels hurt and scared and often tries to avoid school on one pretext or the other. The bully may grab things owned by your child or make fun of his dress or hair style. Sometimes the child is made to do acts which he will not like to do. As per a survey, about 75% of boys and 25% of girls get bullied at one point or the other. This results in development of stress in child and he also starts to develop violent behavior.
A study of the causes of this behavior of bullies reveals that this is due to a desire in their mind to be popular or demand attention. When they pick on someone, they get a feeling of being big and powerful. Alternatively, the bully may be from a family where there is anger in the household, especially amongst parents and the family members tend to shout at each other. Some bullies may have learnt this habit when they were bullied, not knowing or understanding the impact on the feelings of the person bullied. They tend to pick up a kid who gets upset easily and repeat the act whenever they get a chance. Getting a reaction on their behaviour make them feel proud.
To overcome this problem of bullying among kids, there could be two possible ways of avoiding the reoccurrence. Prevent a run in with the bully and face the bully when you come face to face. The following will be of help to you:
- Don’t come face to face and try to avoid him. This does never mean that you skip your class but you may take a different route to reach the class so that you avoid his company.
- When face to face with the bully stand tall, and brave. He may be older than you so do not indulge in a fight. Just try to show that you are confident and by word of mouth you can ask the bully not to mess with you.
- Always feel good about yourself. If you are overweight, try increasing exercise time to look good. Dress up properly while going to school. Go to school refreshed and after proper breakfast. This will generate better feelings in you.
- Make friends who will help you and you should also help friends when in need. Two are better than one. Try going to the place where the bully is generally found in the company of a few friends and just ignore him.
- If need be, tell adults around of the behaviour of a boy in school. You can discuss the problem with your teacher, head boy of school or class, lunch room helper etc.
- Do not try to retaliate the same way. If you say something to a bully similar to what he says to you, there will be chances of increased trouble from the naughty child. His intention is to pick trouble so avoid it.
- Don’t show your anger at the sight of the bully, or make him think that you are upset. Try to distract yourself when you happen to see him.
- Don’t give any bait to make the bully your friend. If you buy him something or share your pocket money with him because of his threatening behaviour, he will be encouraged to repeat it again and again. On your refusal to part with what belongs to you he may try his hand on some other child.
- If you find that the bully is creating trouble for some other child also be his friend, two will be stronger than one.
Often bullies end up with very few friends. No one likes to be in their company, they are often not good at studies. Under a wrong notion of getting respect they act this way. Bullies are not always bad. Proper counselling can help overcome this problem.